Moving the way we’re supposed to.

Lately I’ve been bouncing a lot. I’ve been enjoying the feel of my flesh as it hangs off the bones, moves on its own, sways my body and complies with gravity. Why am I doing this? One reason. It feels freaking GOOD. It wasn’t until I spent a fair amount of time bouncing that my system really started to release. My flesh began to ripple and fall in ways I had not been allowing it to. And truly- it’s really about my butt and my belly and my thighs- moving in their own time, moving without the subtle constriction I’ve been subjecting them to. It’s the unconscious tension, sucking in, tucking under, holding back from the world that is beginning to shake loose. It’s the freedom to take up space and move in ways that go beyond attractive and not attractive into pure delicious sensation.

So try it. Bounce. Gently. And see where the holding lets go and the jiggle makes you wiggle. Why? It feels freaking GOOD.

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Don’t Believe the HYPE!

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So here’s the deal- I’m not dead yet! (Said in a Monty Pythonesque British accent)

You know that scene in The Little Mermaid when the seagull puts his ear to the mermaid’s foot and says “Oh, I can’t find a pulse.” Well that’s what all my acupuncturists and doctors say to me as I lie there, vulnerable on the table. Depleted, exhausted, worn out, empty…are some of the words used to describe my body.

But I’ll tell you what, I’ve got more life-force running through my pinky toe than I can handle. I feel great most of the time, I feel vibrant, passionate about my life and the people in it, and I feel ALIVE! And grateful for it.

My point here is not that I shouldn’t be healing, supporting, resting and nurturing myself. I am actively engaged in all of the above. Naps have been a life-saver this summer, along with mindfulness through the day, good food and herbs, etc… But these negative messages do not support my process. They shut me down, depress me, and put me in a state of fear. How is this helpful? How is this supportive? How is this nurturing?

So next time anyone in your life comments on how “not well” you’re doing- DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE! And next time you’re inspired to comment on how bad someone seems, think about whether that is a supportive remark or not. How can we help each other’s journeys in an encouraging way? In a kind way? Let’s find out….

Obsessed

I am completely obsessed with this poem by Mary Oliver. It speaks to me of the totality of our experience. It is a simple truth that the dark and the light, the grief and the joy, will always be bedfellows in our experience. And this summer, the poppies in Boulder are so wide open and on fire, they’re practically indecent. I’m loving it!

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Poppies
Mary Oliver

The poppies send up their
orange flares; swaying
in the wind, their congregations
are a levitation

of bright dust, of thin
and lacy leaves.
There isn’t a place
in this world that doesn’t

sooner or later drown
in the indigos of darkness,
but now, for a while,
the roughage

shines like a miracle
as it floats above everything
with its yellow hair.
Of course nothing stops the cold,

black, curved blade
from hooking forward—
of course
loss is the great lesson.

But I also say this: that light
is an invitation
to happiness,
and that happiness,

when it’s done right,
is a kind of holiness,
palpable and redemptive.
Inside the bright fields,

touched by their rough and spongy gold,
I am washed and washed
in the river
of earthly delight—

and what are you going to do—
what can you do
about it—
deep, blue night?

Spring fear and sadness

In this season of bursting, creating, blooming and coming to life- there can also be deep fear and deeper sadness. What if what I want to create is impossible? What if no-one wants what I have to give? What if I’m never successful? What if I am not enough?

These are some of the thoughts that run through my mind as I weave my next adventures into becoming. It’s scary to put myself out there! It’s scary to break out of security and reach into the unknown. It’s hard work and it’s exhausting. And! What I’m learning is that though my mind can’t sit comfortably with these heart wrenching doubts and fears, my body can.

My body can feel the sensations and move with them. My body can dance with the emotions and longings and pangs of tender heart- and it’s a beautiful thing. So  my spring invitation is to let whatever’s arising- arise. And let it percolate and brew- but not in the head. In the body. In the solar plexus, stomach, pelvis, arms- wherever it’s felt the strongest. Use your favorite song, use silence, use the moonlight. Whatever inspires and holds you. And move move move.That’s the way in, that’s the way through.

What if I don’t LOVE my cellulite?

 

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Have you heard “You just have to love your body exactly as it is! Love the cellulite! Love your shape!” a million trillion times? Me too. And you know what? To be brutally honest, I don’t. I don’t love my cellulite and extra bits here or too little there….I don’t LOVE it.

But! Since we are in a long-term, monogamous relationship, my body and I have become friends. I’d even say good friends. And so when I feel my thighs rubbing together in places they didn’t use to, or when I can’t button my favorite jeans- now I give my body a gentle pat, and say “peace.” I can be friends with my flesh just the way it is, even if it doesn’t look airbrushed. And so I am growing into a peaceful relationship with my body, exactly as it is, and that’s enough for me.

Dancing Devotion

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There are so many ways to express devotion- whether it’s for our guru, child, goldfish, body or  perfectly poured cappuccino. While doing my meditation practice today, I moved to the words I recited, imagining the deities before me, accepting my body and movement as my heartfelt offering. Embodied devotion can come in any form, but today it struck me that the words of my practice were truly penetrated with meaning as they rose from my whole body.

As an experiment, see what happens when we allow movement to come into play during our sacred activities – whether it’s praying, meditating, cooking for people we love, bathing, talking on the phone with a friend, hiking with some arm gestures or neck rolls, etc…Play with movement and devotion. Why not?